I heard that creative people have had a rough time during their careers because of the pressure they feel regarding their work. Hell, many end up leaning on alcohol and/or drugs in order to get inspired.
A long time ago artists relied on their Muses. That’s where they looked for inspiration. So if what they came up with wasn’t that good, it wasn’t their fault, the Muse had failed. And if the results were outstanding, they weren’t responsible either; the Muse was responsible for the success. This was particularly healthy, that way the artist didn’t fall on depression because of a bad work, nor built up his pride and ego because of a good work.
Sadly all of that changed and the responsibility started falling upon the artist. However, I still believe in “muses”, although I don’t like that name. It’s more like an unknown place where ideas are born and sometimes sucked -like a vacuum cleaner would do- involuntarily by my mind. A better way to graphic this is through another theory I read about. It says that all of the ideas are in the air, like in some wave or frequency, and that all we have to do is tune in and pick them up.
That’s how I feel. When it comes it comes… It doesn’t really have to do much with me. I wonder if other writers feel that way. Or could it be that I’m an amateur? Either way I like the philosophy it carries. No one to blame, no one to suck up to. Just plain equanimity. Of course sometimes I can enjoy a little drama, so sometimes I will think I suck… and then think I’m awesome, and then think I suck, and then think I’m awesome and so on. But fortunately I’ll get my act together and remember that the ideas aren’t mine, they were just shoved in my head. And aaaahhhh, equanimity!